My heart is so full right now that I am not sure I can put clear thoughts together but there is a message I am compelled to share... so bare with me as today's post may be a little more jumbled and scattered than creative:)
"Dear God, As we look forward to loving and caring for a foster child in the future we trust you to bring the perfect fit into our home in your perfect timing."
This has been our prayer for months.
During the interview with the foster care worker, we told her we were open to fostering a baby of any gender and any race. The boys told her they wanted a baby girl to take care of. We were open to taking care of and welcoming any baby into our home but the truth came out. A little girl would be a dream come true.
For months we continued to pray that same prayer. For awhile, there were no calls.
I must admit. I was a little frustrated. I mean, here we were, willing to open our home and for months we did not get a call. I knew there were babies in shelters. I knew there was a need. Why were we not getting a child placed with us?
Then the calls started coming but we were always out of town or kinship was found, or it ended up not working out for one reason or another. Again, I was frustrated because I was looking forward to our family having this opportunity to love a child in need.
Then came Friday. I received a phone call that a precious baby girl was dropped off at the DHS office that morning and needed a home immediately. My heart leaped. A few hours later this sweet, blonde hair, blue eyed baby girl was brought to my home. She is as sweet and as beautiful as you could ever imagine.
Now, let me give you some back story.
Just four years earlier I was carrying a baby girl in my womb that went home to be with the Lord before her due date. As you can imagine, this was a very tough time for us and though God has brought much healing, we missed her greatly. The anniversary of her death is always extra tough. But not this year. The day before the anniversary of losing our precious baby girl, another precious baby, this sweet foster care baby girl, was delivered to our home. On a day that is usually filled with a knot in my stomach, a fog of heaviness and tears of pain, we were instead filled with hope and tears of joy.
This blonde haired, blue eyed little lady fit right into our hearts and our home the moment she entered. The wait was worth it. The timing could not have been more perfect. She is the perfect fit we had been praying for.
Each time we wonder if God really cares about the details of our lives, if God is really in control, if God really listens... we can look to this day, to this season and remember just how much he cares about us. About our story. About the details of our lives. He could have sent another child, a boy, another race. It could have been at another time. We were willing. We would have loved that child unconditionally.
It all would have been fine and beautiful BUT THIS child at THIS specific time... WOW. All I can say is that God know's what He is doing. He is amazing and gives me yet another reason to love Him every day.
As much as I would love to have her with us forever, when I look in her eyes I see her mom and am moved with compassion for her. Somehow I empathize for her and am moved to pray for her and the restoration of her life so that she and baby can be reunited.
So, there may be a day when this sweet girl is taken from our home to be reunited with her mom. As hard as that will be and as much as we will miss her, I can trust that God's hand is in this. His timing and plan has been perfect this far. He was attentive to the details this far and He will be again.
I will just be thankful for this beautiful season that he allowed my heart some healing from our own loss as we were able to love and be loved by this precious baby.
Around the anniversary of her death a couple years ago I wrote a blog titled, "A New Wardrobe." I encourage you to read it as it makes today's blog, and especially this next paragraph, all the more relevant. Here is the link. Just copy and paste it in your browser.
http://bwliving.blogspot.com/2012/08/a-new-wardrobe.html
Today I did not purchase this new garment of joy. Rather it is a sweet gift from God Himself. I will place it in my spiritual wardrobe so it is ready to pulled out, and worn confidently in those times of a hardship and questioning. It will be a sweet reminder of His goodness. His faithfulness. His perfect timing. His care. HIS LOVE.
She may only live in our home for a matter of weeks, but she will live in our hearts forever... and the reminder of God's love and attention to the details of our lives through this story will forever be imprinted in our hearts through this story.
In closing, my sister-in-law shared this verse with us upon welcoming this little girl into our home. It could not be more perfect and is the perfect way to end today's blog.
Keep this story and this verse in your heart and know that God loves YOU and cares about the details of your life as well!
"Lord, ou are my God. I will exalt you and praise your name, FOR IN PERFECT FAITHFULNESS YOU HAVE DONE WONDERFUL THINGS, THINGS PLANNED LONG AGO." Isaiah 25:1
